


When June's past and present met

by seventhtimes



Category: The Handmaid's Tale (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-13 14:57:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15367134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seventhtimes/pseuds/seventhtimes
Summary: Translation from French.A small OS on the meeting between Nick and Luke, with Nick point of view, follows the original scene.I found that Luke's feelings were clear and Nick's are always so complex so.. Here.





	When June's past and present met

**Author's Note:**

> Hey ! This is only how the feelings of both of them reflects to my point of view. Maybe you had a different feeling during this scene and that's cool because I enjoy to talk about how people feel during each scene ! :)

Nick was in his hotel room. In Canada. In a free country. Lying on his bed, empty, cold, he felt himself prisoner of his obligations. From what he used to have to do, and control himself. In a loop the images of June's husband were spinning. He knew that he exist, that she loved/loves ? He didn't know. That they have a daughter, that they loved each other. But he never had he been confronted with this image, who they used to be. Their joy on the photo brandished by Luke. His rage, his pain and his love, in a few seconds thrown to _his_ face, to Waterford's faces, and that was good. The picture hurt him. Despite the guilt, his jealousy mingled with the feelings that swept him. He had felt so guilty for helping to put this government in place. Having removed her, them, from their families, and having removed so many others. Even if a voice would not have changed, he would have tried. And tonight, alone, without June, without being able to observe her at distance like a jewel, he was so sorry. Not to have met him, but of what he represented, at least what he had represented.

Upon her arrival he had desired to be as kind as possible. The first Offred had hanged herself, and perhaps if he had shown her the slightest once of kindness, it could have been only with an encouraging smile, that she was not just an incubator, so ... maybe she would be alive. And he had wanted so much to be kind to June. But, she was so much stronger. So much more tenacious, she had entered a dangerous game with him, and even though he try to keep her away from him .. He could not do it. She was so much more than "Waterford's Handmaid" for him. From now on, she represented so much more. And he owed her so much. She had made him realize so much in a very little time. He had felt more in a few months with her than ever before. He would give up everything to make her happy, to give her everything. So he got up. He took the least-recognizable parts of his Guardian uniform, his status, his belonging. 

He had not come as an enemy. Nick had quickly realized that Luke would go to a bar tonight. So he had scoured most of them until he hit the right one. Entering the bar in the red light, he gets some side eye from patrons and people present. He did not care, he came for one purpose. He approached and leaned on the edge, turned his head towards Luke and waited for him to recognize him. It only took a quarter of a second before he did it.

 

 **\- You leave me the fuck alone**. He did not pick up, who was he to do it?

 **\- I know June.** This lands on Luke. Slowly. Nick turned his gaze, the situation was delicate. He did not know how to present her. To him.  **She's my friend.** Nick looked down, she was so much more than that. Luke frowned, looked at him suspiciously.

It must seemed impossible to him. In this society, friendships could not exist. Real one at least. And he was right. Too little trustworthy, everyone is aroused only mistrust.

 **\- Yeah ?** He processes this for a beat.  **Is she alright ?** He asked, hopeful.

 **\- She's fine.**  Nick nodded.

 **\- She's not fine.**  Luke looked at him with disgust, as if he was crazy to think that she could be going well. Nick debates this. What should he say ? That she's super-pregnant ? With his child ? He opened his mouth, took a breath, licked his lips and let go:

 **-She's pregnant.** This hits Lukes. As he reels. Nick had said it in a breath, with guilt to confess him, and frowned, he had the right to know. Finally, Nick looked up, watching for his reaction. He saw his face decay. Accept. He dared to ask him, his voice became hoarse:

 **- By Waterford ?**  What was he supposed to say to him? To confess that this baby was his? How to explain this without breaking the man ? Luke seemed on the verge of crumbling.

 **\- Yeah..** Low. Very low. He did not even dare to look at him. And when he did, he saw him burst into tears. Nick understood. Of course, but .. he turned his head. He had inflicted a big blow on him. However..This reaction .. He felt the need to change the subject, staying on this one would make him to defend the legitimacy of this baby, his baby. In fact, to explain to June's husband that, in fact, they slept together. Several times. Without constraint. That they loved each other? That she was deliberately cheating on him? That she loved and would protect this baby at any cost, just as he would at the risk of his life?

 **-You people. You people are fucking monsters. Get the fuck out of here.** Luke pushed him. **Get out. Get out ! Get the fuck out of here !** Nick went backwards and turned completely. Everyone was looking at him so badly. The horror of Gilead thrown in his face.

**-Okay. Okay.**

**\- Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait**  Luke caught him running, failing to fall he grabbed his arm. Nick sighed and turned around.

 **\- Have you seen our daughter? Hannah. Is she alright ?** Nick turned his eyes, the  desperation of a parents right in front of his face, he knew nothing and was not going to lie to him.

**\- I don't know**

**\- Why did you come here ?** Asked Luke completly lost.

 **\- I have something for you. From June.** Nick said, his hand in his pocket, he pulled out the letters written by the women held by Gilead. That would surely make a difference, he had to help them, it was the minimum. He turned on his heels, ready to leave.

**\- She gaves this to me a while ago. Maybe you could get them out.**

**\- Who are you ?**

**\- I'm just a driver.** So true and so false. In front of her husband he was only the guy who slept with his wife, a guard, a driver. Gilead symbol. Luke looked at him strangely.

 **\- Listen, you hum.. Will you look out for her ?** That's what he was already trying to do. Certainly even much more than him. He who had run away without returning for his wife and daughter. He did not know if he should hate him or thank him for that. Nevertheless he kept his eyes down and swallowed.  **And tell her Moira made it out, and that she's living with me now. And you tell her that I love her.** A defiant look on his face, his eyebrow raised, Nick looked at him. He did not really want to get into a cock fight, and that's not what June would like, so he fell silent, kept his usual impassive and nonchalant mask.  **And you tell her that I'm not gonna stop, no matter what happens, I'm not going to stop.** This time he was no longer defying him, no warning, he begged him to pass the message. **You tell her that.**

 **\- I'll tell her.** Nick whispered as an answer.

 **-Okay, thank you.** He grabbed his hand and squeezed it. **Thank you..**

**\- Nick. My name's Nick.**

 

They exchanged a look one last time, and this time he turned on his heels for good. He grabbed his pack of cigarettes, lightened a cigarette and went to his hotel, his jacket tapping against his hips.

The exchange had been complicated. Both oh them loved her, and even if Luke had wanted to impress him, he was pained for that guy. Of the two, here it was him who had her. He did not really know how June felt about him. It was so complicated for her. To talk to her about the exchange would upset her, but it was the least he could do for her. He suspected that she shared his feelings, certain actions and looks do not deceive. What they shared and shared does not deceive. Yet she had to be torn between her past and present.

He fall on the matress exhausted.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to leave a comment !


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